A Funny Thing Happened To Me On My Way Through The Park

I have to share this with you because it happened to me. I have no proof to show
because I didn't have my camera with me and I hope you take my word for it.

The other day, I was walking through a local Park relishing the warm sunlight,
the gentle wind and I guess everything in general. It was a very nice day.

I wasn't really paying attention to any 1 thing, just strolling along. Then I realized
that there didn't seem to be any pressure on the bottoms of my feet. I looked
down and saw that I was about 6 feet off the ground and still rising. Floating
in the air with no form of support. Needless to say, I was scared shitless and
started to thrash around. I found that, during my thrashing, if I start with
my arms extended over my head and move my arms down that I would rise
higher in the air or starting with my arms down and moving them up over my head
that I would go down.

So.....this is what I did ALL day. It was the best experience of my life. Also
this ability seems permanent because I can still do it. Ha Ha fooey on you
Earth bound rats.

I've been trying to get it so that instead of standing vertical and floating through the
air, I can be similar to the fictional character Superman and float horizontal. This
is very hard to do because when I start to go horizontal I seem to start to slip out
of the air. Hard to explain, I'll just have to continue to practice till I can figure it out.

The 1 important thing I did find was that, while floating from the ground upward
and not making any movement, my movement upward would stop at about
100 feet. Coooooool.

I don't really feel anything when I float except that there is no pressure on the
bottoms of my feet. Even with me being an Atheist, this floating stuff is truly
STRANGE. I have no idea why I can FLOAT, I just do.

As yet, I haven't tried to hold an object and float. That will come later when
I'm more experienced at floating.

There it is, I hope you believe me because I'd really feel bad if you didn't.

Even worse, I'd feel terrible if you thought I was any 1 or all of the below;

1....Someone with a brain tumor.
2....Someone that's crazier than a Shit House Rat.
3....Someone that's done WAY to many drugs.
or
4....Someone so stupid that he doesn't know walking from jumping.

 Well sorry........none of those thoughts are correct. The real thought is that
" This fothermucker is Lying ".

AND

That would be CORRECT. Everything, about my floating, is a LIE.

Now to the point of this post.

I gave you readers firsthand information on my ability to float.
I gave you readers firsthand details on my ability to float.

The only problem is that YOU didn't see me float.

Now lets turn to the 2000 year old biblE.

It says that " jesuS Walked Upon The Waters " or something to that effect.

The theists READ this and say "Yessiree lordY, Thats exactly what hE done. "
The theist will believe something that comes out of a 2000 year old book with
no proof or evidence to back it up.

Hmmmm,  maybe hE just knew where the rocks were at.

Yet, when I give theists firsthand information and details, they still require proof.

It's a Sad Sad World we live in.

Here's a little Atheist humor I made up while typing this post.  I don't know if
I'm plagiarising anybody but, here goes;

A man walks into a catholic church and asks the priest if he could address the
congregation. The priest asks, " does it concern religion? " . The man answered
" yes it does " and the priest nodded his consent.

The man enters the pulpit, pauses a few moments, Then says " you all know me,
though not by face, I am you lorD jesuS chrisT ". The whole congregation erupted
into laughter. After a few monents and a very stern look from the man, the congregation
settles down. The man then says " I am here because the day of reckoning has come ".
Again the congregation erupts into laughter. This time the priest is laughing also.

The man asks " why do you laugh at me " and, almost in unison, the congregation
yells " We Don't Believe You ". The man hangs his head for a moment, then looks
up and says " must I give you proof of who I am ? " and again the congregation
yells in unison " YES ". Now the man hangs his head, all the while, shaking it from
side to side. After many long moments, the man looks at the congregation and says
" YOU KNOW I DON"T WORK LIKE THAT "


Peace